Has My Fire Really Gone Out?

I sit here after a great weekend away in Dorset and competing in the Dorset CTS Ultra for the second time and racing on that amazingly beautiful yet brutal coastline for the fourth time. Its been a tiring but great weekend away, ten of us from Jersey took part in the varous distance race offered by Endurancelife from 10km right through to the Ultra and it was great to see everyone who took part enjoy their experiences.

I would love this post to be about how I have continued on this amazing trajectory of improvement in my running journey, how I ran the Ultra and improved on my time and race positioning from last year ( as was my goal as I lined up on Saturday morning at 8:15 at the bottom of Lulworth Hill Climb). However this post is more a cautionary tale I guess.. If you have read any of my posts from this year you will be aware of the year I have had in terms of running, I did the maths earlier today and the races I have done go something like this:

XNRG Pilgrims Challenge - 2 day x 34 miles each day
Marathon Des Sables - 5 days - 150 ish miles
ITEX Run/Walk - 48 miles
Run Jersey Trail Half Marathon
Round The Rock Ultra - 48 Miles
Cotswolds Way 100 miler (62 miles as DNF'ed)
Jersey Marathon Relay (7 mile leg)
Rowbothams Round Rotherham (50 miles)
Spartans Jersey Half Marathon

and the icing on the cake the Dorset Ultra - 34 miles 6,600 ft of ascent and a whole lot of pain! So my motivation was to come back to measure how I had done over the last year and whether I had improved and whether I could take on the Jurassic coast and find it easier (even a little?) than last December - a great yardstick in my opinion.

After Round Rotherham I had been quite conservative in terms of training, coach Bruno favouring intensity over distance, but I felt I had had alot of quality sessions bringing in plyometrics and some strength work on top. I have had a lingering knee problem since June time which I have been managing but not been able to shake as well as hip flexor problems and other assorted niggles.. Familiar to all who run regularly I am sure..

So lining up at the start I felt good; physically stronger, confident after some good results and lots of lessons learnt over the year. I stood at the front ready to go feeling that I belonged at the front and ready to do my best that day. The countdown began 10-9-8... And then we were off. Straight away a nice 350 feet climb to get the legs and lungs ticking over, my intention being to run to the top as if to set out my intention for the race. I got 3/4 of the way up was with another 4 or 5 people and we made our way to the top - first climb done and on to the first descent and to the bottom of the next 524 feet climb.. So this continued on, me talking to myself in my head "Relax, climb consistently, run your own race" (my running mantra) and just trying to get the initial few climbs done without using too much energy as I knew there was plenty to come through the coming 34 miles.

By the time I was 8 or 9 miles in to the run I was in 6th place, in a rhythm of sorts and feeling ok.. All going well until a little blip where I wasn't sure where to go as it wasn't very clearly signposted. I went off round a field and took about 8 people with me, we went about half a mile along this route without seeing any more signposting and slowly the others turned back to retrace their steps. 3 of us committed to this route and miraculously found our way back on to the course albeit a bit further down the standings - I was informed I was now in 22nd place coming the through the start line again to make our foray into the West side of the course taking in some truly massive climbs.

So things were going well, I was in the groove, I had dealt with a potential disaster well both by finding the course again and not letting it get to me too much. I felt good physically and was getting the climbs done, recovering well and chasing back the places I had lost. By checkpoint 2 I was told that I was between 10th and 15th place so I felt it was going ok..
This was when things started to go a little pear shaped.. I recall coming out of CP2 and straight into what must have been the 7th or 8th big climb of the day, it had been really quite warm earlier so I had taken my gloves off and stashed them in my rucksack, it was now getting cold however and I knew the gloves were wet so I had to put up with cold hands; the hands got colder, my persistent knee problem got worse and my hip flexor started to hurt quite badly as it usually does in the later stages of ultras.. I was climbing and then running but it felt like the running along the flat was getting tough all of a sudden, so I was cold, tired both physically and mentally, and in a bit of pain.

The voices in my head then started; you will know these voices if you have ever done a half marathon, marathon or ultra marathon; "You've had a great year this year Paul, you don't need to prove yourself by completing the ultra distance, why don't you when you get to the finish line of the marathon call it a day there? You'll still get a marathon time, its close enough 30 miles anyway and you can have a nice cup of tea, get warm and take the weight off those poor tired legs of yours.." as well as "look at all the races you've run this year, all the miles you've run, just call it a day.." Now I had never allowed the voices to be this clear before, to be fair my body was starting to seize up, and the thought of a cuppa was really alluring.. This was at about 23 miles, I knew I still had another 6 miles or so til I finished even the marathon route, but the way the ultra works is you have to go through the marathon finish and then do the initial 10km loop again, and I knew what was waiting for me out there and I knew I couldn't face it again that day!

What Lay In Store For Me Out There..

So I got the last few miles done and I did actually feel a little better by the time I got to the finish of the marathon I was actually contemplating carrying on, by this time the ultra course had combined with the half marathon course and I started to edge out of the 1/2 marathon pack towards the start of the second 10km loop when someone said to me "Its this way mate", thinking I was a half marathon runner and due to finish, so with my will of iron I capitulated and went through the finish and dropped the race at the marathon distance.

Now I must state here that I had mulled this decision to drop over in my head whilst running and was completely ok with it; I remember doing the same race last year, exactly the same scenario, having to run through the marathon finish and do the 10km loop to finish the ultra and there was no voices and no question of me not finishing. So what changed? This is a question I was asking myself yesterday and discussing over a few beers last night with some of the guys I was away with, and I think it comes down to this;

I have done alot of races this year! 

I know this may not sound like rocket science, but I think back to last year and I was so hungry and focused on just getting the job done regardless of what pain I had to go through and I think of the races I have done this year and my focus has become more on not whether I will finish but how well will I do. I think essentially I am running more with my ego at times than my heart, and I have started to expect more of myself in terms of times, results etc which puts pressure on a little and can to a certain extent take away the intrinsic enjoyment of running. I have done 10 races of any consequence this year meaning 10 times this year I have had to get mentally ready and to apply my will focus and motivation to run the race. Even the shorter distance stuff has been high intensity meaning that I gave 100% and left it all out there each time. I think back to last year and remember getting a little over running at a certain point in the year, taking some time off for a couple of weeks and getting back to it and that did the trick. This year has been  a busy year with an average of a race every 6 weeks or so and whilst I have loved it, looking back I now see that slowly the quality of my performances have been getting diluted. Between Aug and December I did a 100 miler, a 50 miler a month later, a half marathon 2 weeks after that which yielded a new PB of 1:26:32 and then I did the Dorset ultra. So thats quite a workload. Coach Bruno says that ideally an athlete should race every 6 months, and I think now looking back on this year I can see the logic. We discussed this yesterday also and have struck a deal where I will stick to racing once every 3 months to enable a bit more quality out of next year (hopefully!)

I have discussed motivation and positive self talk alot over the last few posts I have written as these are the lessons I have come up against particularly in the last 6 months, I think expectation (both from myself and from others) positive self talk, and motivation have been things that I have thought in great detail about, read about and have helped me discover alot more about myself as a person as well as a runner this year; I think my goal will be to go back to basics a little more next year, race less, save the peaks for the races that matter, do more quality session rather than quantity and reconnect with my love for running so that when the dark times hit as they did yesterday I have an arsenal of reasons why I should keep going rather than why I should stop. I sincerely hope that the main reason for not finishing the ultra yesterday is just down to a collective dwindling of motivation and willingness to endure pain due to the busy schedule and will be fixed by a lengthy period of rest rather than a change of state of mind in me that means I may not have the motivation inside me to endure anymore. Time will tell on that score I am sure, but nonetheless I have 2 weeks now of no weight bearing exercise at all, perhaps a little swimming and maybe some yoga to keep a routine going of some description. Then providing my knee is better I hope to have a couple of weeks of un regimented running to allow for some flexibility and to not be fulfilling a program, I might even... GASP... run without my Garmin now and again maybe??

So onto next year.. 2014, what do I want from next year? I was in the lottery for Western States but was not one of the lucky ones to be pulled out of the hat in the lottery yesterday, so my year is looking like this right now:

Feb - XNRG Pilgrims Challenge
May - Transvulcania
June - SDW 100
Aug - Round The Rock
After that who knows...?

I have signed up for the 2015 edition of the Marathon Des Sables so focus will naturally switch to that in the latter part of the year, with plenty of sand bashing, running with a rucksack, Bikram yoga and all the other lovely MDS prep that goes along with the race.

This might be the last post for me of 2013, so thanks for reading my blog on what has been an amazing year of self discovery and endeavour for me.. I hope 2013 has been as good for you and that 2014 fills you with as much hope and anticipation as it does me.

More as and when it happens

Endurance Life CTS Dorset Trail Ultra Marathon Dec 2012

Its Official!

I'd forgotten how severe the hills on the beautiful Jurassic Coastline were to be honest.. This was the third time I have raced on this section of coast and as soon as I was stood at the base of the first climb, which incidentally was right at the start, the pain, lactic acid build up and "what am I doing here" - ness came flooding back from the previous races!

The Course Elevation Profile

Endurancelife always organise a good race, and the Ultra was well organised, I think 130 people started the race and by the looks of the results only 46 made the aggressive final checkpoint cutoff time of which I believe was 6 hours 15 mins. When you take into account the amount of climbing involved for the day (around 6000ft) to make the cutoff is no mean feat. The conditions were also super muddy with more than a few people spending quality time on their behinds and one guy I met even cutting his hand on barbed wire when falling.. 

Beautiful

The Hills Are Alive...

I was lucky in that I didnt actually fall, but as I was traipsing through the mud I was silently cursing the organisers, it was treacherous in parts with slippy sections right next to sheer cliff drops!! I also took a bit of a wrong turn in the first 10 or so miles which lost me a few places in the overall rankings but in a way was a good thing, I ended up running alone for a good 10 miles or so and stopped worrying about pace, position and all that, plugged my Ipod in and enjoyed the run! I think if anyone could have seen me running along singing along to Tina Turners "The Best" or air boxing to "The Eye of The Tiger" they might have questioned my sanity, although I guess not many sane people run 35 miles in those conditions for fun in the first place? Discuss.

         

Phil and Lee

Me!

It was a hard day, but it was sunny and the scenery as always was beautiful, it was great to go over with my friends Phil Taylor, Lee De St Croix and Peter Wright, the banter we had was amazing and we all did well. I was lucky enough to meet a few people who are taking part in the MDS next year, Joey,

Mark and Fred so this was definitely an added bonus for the day.

So.. I placed 11th overall in the end finishing the course in 6 hours 46, I was so pleased with this, and shows a real improvement as a result of my training over this year. The biggest thing for me was being able to climb some of these mountains/hills and then being able to run at the top, this meant I was sustaining a good overall pace during the race and didnt really start to feel tired in the legs until the last 6 miles or so, where you came back to the start line and have to go out and do another 6 mile loop of the initial course. This was tough psychologically as getting to the start/finish and keeping going is very counter intuitive! Once I had gone through I kept telling myself 6 miles to go, 6 miles to go and listened to my cheesy chart iPod playlist and soaked it up..

As far as things to take away from the day? I would say that cheesy chart music works better than thrash metal to keep the spirits high during those difficult times (particularly Katy Perry's Firework...!!), Hammer Perpetuem is an amazing energy source for long races (kept me going and supplied with energy for the duration), leg strength training definitely paid off for those hills, Salomon Exo calf guards were invaluable to keep the legs feeling fresh, and really strong Ibuprofen makes everything ok when all else fails.. :) Onwards and upwards now to 2013, maybe one more Ultra marathon before the MDS just to keep ticking over...

Thank You!!

Another high point this week was that I reached my £5000 target for Jersey Hospice Care. I am raising money for this amazing local charity as a dear friend of mine Natalie Moss spent time there this year before she sadly passed away and they were amazing to her and her family. I am running the MDS in memory of her as her grace and poise under such awful circumstances and her strength was amazing and so inspiring. I am humbled by the support of everyone who has donated either by attending the various events I and my good friends have organised or through my justgiving page, thanks so so much and I hope to raise more before I go to Morocco in April for this great cause.

So whats next? More training now in the lead up to christmas, interspersed with my works xmas do this Friday and various other social events, so a slight reduction in mileage I think for the next few weeks, then back into it at full pelt in January to get me to the Desert. Its just under 4 months til we fly to Morocco and face the biggest challenge I have ever faced. I found the James Cracknell documentary about the MDS on Youtube the other day, well worth a look to see what the race is about, click here

The Hard As Nails Training Plan

So last week saw the first week of my specific training plan for the MDS begin. After seeing Rory Coleman I was armed with a program which if followed will make me in his words "As hard as nails" It is quite a jump up in mileage and I trained every day last week which I have always been averse to as I subscribe to the "Rest is best" school of thought so as to give the body plenty of rest to recover and also to avoid injury.

The program introduces weight training alongside the higher mileage so at the beginning I was worrying about how I am going to fit it all in! I took it in my stride last week though and took each day as it came and quite got into the training every day routine. The weights sessions gave me active recovery from running and I was lucky enough to train with my friend Leanne who is a PT and has really put me through my paces swinging kettle bells, doing bench presses, press ups, squats and all sorts of other exercises. The runs themselves last week were on the cliffpaths mainly and I was lucky enough to run with friends most of the days which made it enjoyable as well as nice scenery and views.. I ended the week on 69 miles run, with some quite long runs in the mix to achieve that. It was a good week and a nice confidence booster before the Dorset ultra in a week and a bit.

It is week 2 of the program and I fear the mileage wont be as high as last week but I will give it my best shot to get somewhere near my target mileage.

Fundraising has been going well for Jersey Hospice care, a good friend of mine James Wilson has been kind enough to set up a Facebook page to publicise the MDS challenge and my fundraising, which has been instrumental in raising over £500 in donations in the last week and a half. I have just over £200 left to raise which means I can focus more fully now on the training as I am nearly there with the fundraising, which is a great weight off my mind. I am doing a cake sale in work on Friday which I hope will raise some more funds and get me closer to my goal.

http://www.justgiving.com/Paulsdesertrun

I have been watching quite a few youtube videos of peoples experiences in the MDS over the last few years. One in particular really gave a feel on how hard on both the body and the mind the race is, I have included the link here:

So just over a week until my final race of this year, the Endurancelife CTS Dorset Ultra Marathon. It is a 33 mile ultra taking in about 6000ft of climbing, to put this in perspective Ben Nevis is the highest mountain in the UK is 4000ft so its going to be quite a tough day out! The upside being the scenery on the Jurassic coast is some of the most beautiful in the UK. I am really looking forward to going back there to compete.

So far this year I have taken part in 6 races: 2 Ultra marathons, 2 marathons and 2 half marathons. I look back on the year and think it has been a successful year in alot of aspects, my times have tumbled mainly due to alot of training both over distance, height and speed over the year, I have made some really good friends through running this year and really feel I have found my niche in life, which is a really good feeling. I think in other aspects of my life things have left a little to be desired which has meant that running has been a rock to me and a constant when other things have been a bit tough. I am really looking forward to the MDS in April and with just over 4 months to go I am pretty much thinking about it most of the day! As I have previously mentioned in other posts I am in the process of selecting the right equipment to take with me which in itself is as vital a part of the preparation as the training. Lots of decisions to make about sleeping bags, rucksacks, shoes, food, energy gels, cooking implements and a myriad of other details! The goal being to get to the start line with as light a pack as possible so that I will be able to run and hopefully do well in the race.

5 Months To Go..

Yesterday was the Jersey Half Marathon. Over the last few weeks I have been training twice weekly with the Jersey Spartans Athletics Club and have noticed real positive changes in both my speed and endurance. Yesterday was a chance to measure this in real terms and I felt I did ok. The course is challenging with a 2 mile hill at the start which certainly takes it out of you. I intended to run the course in 1 hours 24 ish and came away with 1 hour 27 which I was pleased with. Last year I ran the same course in 1 hour 34 so a definite improvement from then which is promising.. 

The conditions were great, sunny, no wind and a really nice vibe. Alot of people from our training group did well and placed highly so it shows that the speed training has been paying off!

I had a week and a half away in which I visited Barry Island in Wales which is my home, and was lucky enough to have a consultation with Rory Coleman who has completed the MDS 9 times. It was an informative session, we did tests to establish my VO2 max and then Rory gave me a strengthening program to improve my muscular endurance. We then spent the afternoon going through the various kit options that I could take to the MDS to optimise the weight carried in my rucksack. It looks like some tough decisions are to be made re carrying a cooking stove or not to minimise weight and maximise speed, non essential luxuries are out the window such as cameras, phones and hair dryers! :)

The optimal weight it appears is 6.5 kg to carry with some people carrying as much as 11 kg, with a kilo adding as much as 25 minutes onto your marathon time. The 6.5 Kg is including food, sleeping bag, mandatory equipment  and misc stuff.. It looks like I will be wearing one set of running gear for the whole week so will be smelling lovely by the end of the race!

Rory was also kind enough to provide me with a make me as tough as nails program which entails me running an average of 80 miles per week for the next few months, hello fitness goodbye life I think! I do hope that come March that I will possess the endurance and strength to withstand the rigours of the race. 

All in all the time with Rory was great, my lasting recollection of the day being doing lady press-ups in the gym whilst two muscle heads nearby bench pressed each other more or less and Rory valiantly not laughing at my pathetic upper body strength!! Anyway this will change over the forthcoming months and I hope to do the program justice..

Next up is the Endurancelife CTS Dorset Ultra Marathon on December 8th which is a 33 mile ultra marathon along my old friend the Jurassic Coast. There are a few of us competing from Jersey so will be a good outing and hopefully we will represent the island well.

6 Months to go..

I found out yesterday that I am now within the 6 month mark to go til the MDS, which I cant quite believe to be honest! I remember signing up and it seemed so long ago. Time flies whilst You're having fun I guess :)

So this Sunday I take part in the Jersey marathon, the weather is meant to be atrocious at the moment, to be honest as long as it isnt too windy I wont be too upset. Last year was very hot and took everyone by surprise I think so at least I know what to deal with in the rain! My current PB after Mont St Michel in May is 3 hours 18 so I would love to knock a bit off that to be honest..

I recently had a biomechanics screening session which was extremely informative, the screener Mandy explained that it was to analyse how the body stacks up and to highlight any inconsistencies. A few things were highlighted and I have been given some exercises to release spasms at various points in my body and I will be going back in a few weeks to address more. I think this is a worthwhile investment as it will mean I should go into the MDS as strong and as physically right as I can be.

I will be meeting legendary ultra runner Rory Coleman 9 times MDS competitor in November for a training session, he lives in Cardiff which is my home town, so I am going home to see the family and coincide a gym session, and tips on how to pack the bag so it is light as possible and hopefully some other great bits of advice to be as strong and as efficient as possible lining up on the first day of that race!

I have started to buy equipment for the MDS, and as one of the keys to doing well in the MDS is carrying as little as possible the lighter more technical stuff is looking like my bank balance is going to be suffering over the next few months.. I have been researching alot about what has worked for previous competitors and trying to make decisions on things like sleeping bags, rucksacks what compression wear to wear, head torches, camping stoves.. The list goes on and on.. Secretly though its quite cool as it is all gear I need, so it feels like xmas every time a new parcel arrives at my door.

After the Jersey marathon I am taking part in the CTS Dorset Ultra which takes place in December along my old stamping ground the Jurassic coast. I have done a trail marathon along this and also a 3 day event so know what to expect as far as course profile, so it will be good to go back almost a year later to mark how far I have progresses both fitness and strength wise. Its a 33 mile course with 6000ft of elevation, and when you consider that Ben Nevis the highest mountain in the UK is 4000ft this gives it some kind of perspective. The Endurance Life events are well organised and it should give me a good idea of where I am t as far as more training needed for the MDS.

I have begun to fundraise for the MDS also, I have committed to raising £5000 for Jersey Hospice Care here, I am 25% there with the target at the moment, having done a 8 hour treadmill challenge in M&S which was amazing and also a carboot sale. I have a major event planned this evening (5th October 2012) a film quiz which will hopefully take me alot closer to the £5000 mark.

So lots going on at the moment, lots of positive things and I guess this is the business end of the training plan as far as the MDS is concerned. I look forward to meeting a few of the other competitors over the coming months and enjoying the journey as well as the destination. Happy running!